Categories: all aviation Building a Biplane bicycle gadgets misc motorcycle theater

Tue, 03 Feb 2009

A new entry

If you're a Consumer Reports online subscriber, they just released a series of motorcycle and scooter tests, including the Ninja 250. This is apparently the first time they've tested two-wheelers since 1981. Interesting move, and (thankfully) their advice is very practical, and coincides nicely with advice I'd give to new riders. So it's nice to know they're on the right track, but it's also nice to know I'm on the right track.

Posted at 11:14 permanent link category: /motorcycle


More stories from the front lines

This last saturday, I decided to try stopping in to Aurora Suzuki, to see if they had any SV650s I could ogle. I headed out in the late afternoon, and when I got there the shop was mostly empty of customers.

I wandered (well, limped) around a little bit, checking to see if they had any of the padded shorts I've been looking for as proof against future bicycle spills (they've got energy-absorbing padding on the hips, tailbone and quads, which would have made my recent bicycle crash a much less painful event). No luck there, so I wandered (limped) back to where I'd spotted two SV650S bikes. I'm not really interested in the S version, which has a little fairing, and (most importantly) a more sporty/uncomfortable seating position.

I was looking over one of the S's, answering some basic questions I'd had (such as: where's the oil filter, and what type is it? how do they route the exhaust pipes? what does the seat actually feel like?), when one of the salesmen wandered over. He looked to be a decade or two older than me, and looked like a fairly sensible, down-to-earth kind of guy.

Suzuki Sales Guy: Any questions I can answer for you?

me: No, thanks, I'm just looking really. Oh, actually, yeah, do you have any non-S model SV650s?

SSG: Nope, sorry, this is all we have left. I think production is over. They're being replaced with the Gladius.

He handed over a brochure which showed a nearly useless shot of a motorcycle leaned over, away from the camera, and some specs, the only one of which stood out to me was the noticeably higher weight.

me: Oh, ok, thanks.

SSG: Hey, so what are you riding?

me: (with a certain amount of dread, knowing what comes next) A Ninja 250.

SSG: (not obviously smirking) Oh yeah?

me: Yeah, although I've been riding for a while. I think this is my ninth motorcycle. Hey, do either of these SV650s here have ABS?

SSG: No, no, the ABS option wasn't very popular. You know, experienced riders don't really want ABS.

This was news to me -- I wanted ABS. The ability to stop without flinching because you're worried about traction sounds like a godsend to me.

me: Really? Well, I guess I'd think they're wrong, but that's a personal opinion, I won't press it on anyone else...

SSG: Oh yeah, but real riders... Like, me, I've been riding for 40 years, ABS just screws ya up. I mean, when I'm taking a corner and find that I'm drifting wide, I like to tap on the rear brake, slide the rear tire out a bit, whack the throttle again, and tighten up my line that way. With ABS, you can't do that, it won't let you lock the rear tire. It just does this [chugging sound, accompanied by wide-eyed hand-waving]... I'd probably crash!

me: (trying not to let my jaw hang open) Uh-huh...

I was out the door less than 60 seconds later.

I remembered, via this experience, why I have long avoided going near anything that might be even remotely called a sportbike. This guy was a classic example of the kind of douchebag salesman that seems to fester in that environment. Sliding the rear tire to tighten your line? Yeah, maybe on a track, but on the street? That's the kind of insane riding that would make anyone with any appreciation for safety turn white. It's riding at 9/10ths of your ability. It means you have nothing left if anything goes wrong, and there's always something ready to go wrong on uncontrolled public streets.

This guy is why motorcyclists have a reputation as assholes. He's the sort who inspires lawmakers to write laws banning motorcycles. And worst of all, he's installed himself in a position where he can shower his tales of "experience" and "wisdom" on incoming riders who are usually screwed up enough to start with. Like we really need more 18 year old testosterone-washed motorcyclists on vastly overpowered machines with visions of racing glory in their heads blasting around public streets, trying to drift through corners because some dipshit salesman fed them stories like this.

Suffice to say that I am again inspired to avoid Aurora Suzuki. I had lost that sense over the years since I was last seriously in there, but it's been well and truly reinstated.

Secret hint to Suzuki Sales Guy, on the 1000:1 chance he's reading this: the way to handle that situation next time is to nod, and say, "Oh yes, ABS. I'm afraid these bikes don't have that option, but I think the '09 SV650S models are still available with ABS. Would you like to order one?" After I've left, you're welcome to turn to your buddies and say, in a high-pitched, nasal voice, with your eyes crossed, "Do you have ABS on this bike?" while mincing about with your wrists flopping. I know I'm a pansy in your eyes, but shoving it in my face is a great way get me to leave and never come back. It's also one of the poorer sales tactics in the world.

Posted at 06:24 permanent link category: /motorcycle


Categories: all aviation Building a Biplane bicycle gadgets misc motorcycle theater