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Categories: all aviation bicycle gadgets misc motorcycle theater
Wed, 19 Nov 2008I just got back from watching the preview of Snow Queen (pdf) at the Bathhouse Theater on Greenlake. The ADD review is: go see it. Good stuff. I found myself looking at the tech, and the production, and how they did things. I also watched the show (except when the prop knife came on -- then my attention achieved laser-like focus after my experience making my own knife for Halloween), which was very good. From what I gathered, they've been performing roughly this show for the last 6 months, with a larger cast, and in parks over the summer. This has resulted in a very tight show, with excellent acting, artful choreography and a beautiful production quality. Although what I saw was a preview, and thus technically a rehearsal, they're definitely ready for opening night. I won't single out any actors, because they were uniformly very good (and, I have a friend in the cast; I'd hate to show undue favoritism). The audience was pretty sizeable for a Wednesday night preview, and hopefully indicative of their houses for the run. I found myself particularly looking at the lights, after my experience designing lights for the Lovecraft show (which lights I felt were alternately good and lackluster). I'm also friends with the lighting designer, so I'll restrain myself to saying that I thought the design was very good, with an excellent use of color (particularly on the cyc behind the stage). He had a sort of abstract spot of light on the cyc at the top of the show, and after the show, I understood what it was for. He told me that it had actually been an accident, but it was a happy accident. Not a trick I would have thought of (but now I will...). The Snow Queen is a Hans Christian Andersen story, and Google will quickly tell you more about it. I was curious to see how they would stage it. My friend in the cast, Molly, asked if it met my expectations for a fairy tale, and as I said to her, "I had no expectations. I was pleased with what I saw." The staging was actually very sparse, and I found myself delighted with how much they did with so little. I was particularly impressed by the costumes, which evoked Denmark without being too elaborate, as well as a variety of fantastic characters including talking crows, reindeer, night mares (not bad dreams, but rather the horses which carry dreams -- I think), a horde of snow gods, and of course the Snow Queen herself. There were traces of dance throughout the production, and there seemed to be movement involved in almost every moment. It was clear to me that a good deal of thought had gone into the staging, probably ideas which evolved and were refined over the course of the summer run in the parks. Overall, I was very pleased with the whole thing, and it was entirely a worthwhile expenditure of my time. You, dear reader, should go see it. It's playing at the Bathhouse Theater on Greenlake, but only for this weekend, opening Thursday and closing Sunday. Go! Go now! Posted at 22:36 permanent link category: /theater At least one of my readers wasn't clear on one vital point from my last entry: M. is married. I wasn't leading up to anything romantic with the story. Sorry to let you down. It is pretty cool though, M. and I established a friendship very quickly. I'm glad I got over whatever weirdness I had set myself up for. I will say that dating (speaking of romance), online or otherwise, has not proved to be a rewarding pursuit, so I shut down my Lovelab profile for a good long while. I did meet some cool people, and I'm still in the process of figuring out what those relationships may become, but being in the dating mindset was driving me crazy. Sibyl has an excellent attitude about this: "Online dating made me unhappy, so I stopped. Now, I'm happy being single, and when the right guy comes along, it'll happen." For my own sanity, I'm following in her footsteps. Except, of course, waiting for the right girl. Details. Posted at 17:09 permanent link category: /misc Sun, 16 Nov 2008 A long time ago, in a personal galaxy far, far away, there lived a
boy, whom we shall call Ian. Now, this boy had recently experienced
the end of his first long-term relationship, and got himself into
theater to As it happened, he did meet a number of hot chicks, and was more or less paralyzed about actually speaking with them. One of them solved this problem by attaching herself to him, so the plan met with general success. However, before this aforementioned attachment occured (and practically in spite of it) our young hero (the aforementioned Ian) finally worked up the nerve to ask another of these hot chicks out on a date. It went something like this: IAN: [pre-dejected, trying to put on a brave face] Hey, I was wondering if you'd be interested in going to dinner at some point. HOT CHICK: [trying not to smirk] Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I don't have free time for like the next two months -- I'm working on two shows at once. It's madness. Sorry. IAN: Oh, ok. Well, thanks. [SFX: cue wah-wah trumpet, "Loser" by Beck] Anyway, our young hero took this as one might reasonably interpret it: the hot chick in question was saying, clothed in a scant tracery of code, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last human standing." Of course (reckoned the aforementioned Ian), she couldn't say this outright, since she and our hero might end up working together at some point (the theatrical environment being as tight-knit and winkingly incestuous as it is), and then things would be awkward. Some time after this, our young hero (the aforementioned Ian) found himself in a relationship with another hot chick, so the matter became irrelevant. Except, of course, that it didn't become irrelevant, for the Seattle theater scene is a small one, and hot chick the first (let's call her M. for pseudo-anonymous clarity) and our young hero came into contact every so often. Now, M. (our heroine, if you will, for the purposes of this yarn) went off and got married and had kids shortly after our briefly hilarious scene above, and was by all accounts living the good life, which has only the most tiny bearing on the story, but is important. Now imagine, if you will, an analog clock face occulting the scene, and the hands spin faster and faster. Pages rip off one of those obnoxiously wasteful page-a-day calendars and fly away, faster and faster. About 8 years pass, and we are, as they say, in the present day (and in a personal galaxy considerably more like the one that exists as you read this). Our young hero is no longer quite so young (at least 8 years less young, in fact), and comes into contact with this M., our heroine, again. He is standoffish, having figured for all these years that she considered him some kind of inoffensive but essentially uninteresting freak. Imagine his surprise when she seems friendly, and not remote at all, as he had expected. Interesting! This is not a romantic thing, merely cordial relations, which our hero had not hitherto expected to exist. Our hero and heroine converse at a party, and words are said which confirm that cordial relations do in fact exist. This aforementioned Ian walks our heroine home (said assistance being graciously accepted, passing as they do through some of the less savory crowds available on Capitol Hill), as her abode is on his way home, and he is nothing if not chivalrous. They part on friendly terms, and our no-longer-so-young hero leaves the scene noticeably buoyed: M. had, in fact, had two shows she was working on, and was already engaged (albeit quietly and without ostentation) in a relationship at the time of the above hilarious scenic re-enactment. She was thus triply correct in her assessment that it was madness to consider adding any further complications to her life. Our silly-headed hero, it turns out, had been constructing from the whole cloth of his fevered imagination this supposed indifference all this time, all these last 8 years. Imagine his relief! Oh, I can no longer maintain the subterfuge! Yes, it is me we are discussing, I am the aforementioned Ian! I know, shocking, but I couldn't keep lying to you any more. It was a moment of minor personal victory to realize that this aforementioned M. (who shall remain essentially nameless for reasons too numerous to recount here) was actually perfectly friendly, and was not in fact maintaining some kind of bizarre "I turned you down 8 years ago and now never want to speak to you again" grudge. And it was perfectly timed to buoy my spirits, right when they needed a bit of a lift. In fact, part of our discussion at the party aforementioned was the retelling of our brief moment 8 years ago, which I had figured would have long passed from her memory (I'm not sure why my memory of it is so clear, for that matter). It was all very amusing, and means that my future visits to the aforementioned theater will lose the slight but noticeable tinge of tension I had imagined existed. I may even work on a show there again... Posted at 04:48 permanent link category: /misc Fri, 14 Nov 2008I saw a sign a few weeks ago that struck me (although I don't remember now what specifically it was advertising): Get the
www.something.com Note to signmakers: I don't think those quotes mean what you think they mean. Posted at 17:10 permanent link category: /huh I've now had a chance to use the Planet Bike Blaze a few times (and I should clarify, this is the one-watt version, which is comparatively new). I have good and bad to report. The good news is that this is one bright light -- bright enough to use as a primary. So the optics are designed "right" in that sense. The reason I say it's bright enough to use as a primary is that it's about as bright, in its central hotspot, as the light I'm currently using as my primary headlight, a NiteRider MiNewt.X2. The downside is that the Blaze's beam pattern is still that you get wtih cheap optics. With a carefully crafted reflector, you can have a center spot with a tapering sidespill, which is how the MiNewt works. With it, I can see what's about to roll under my front tire, such as when traversing a tricky gravel path I use most days. With the Blaze, there's really no sidespill to speak of, so that although I can see what's in the center spot, the rest of the world is in darkness. This is a typical artifact of using a lens instead of a reflector. The real problem I ran into is that the Planet Bike mount offers exactly zero capacity to rotate that I can find. If you can't find a piece of handlebar that aims dead ahead, your light is aimed off to the side. Particularly with a light as tightly focused as this one, that's a huge detriment. There are almost no perfectly-straight/flat bars out there, so this model is going to spend a lot of time illuminating the side of the road. To PB's credit, the mount does seem to offer the option, albeit poorly thought out, of rotating 90°. However, it's just not capable of a 10° deflection like I want. I'd welcome corrections on this point, but I spent some time investigating it when I was working with my W-shaped bars, and was disappointed. I solved the problem for myself by rearranging items on my handlebars, and regretfully giving up my front reflector -- I'll have to apply some SOLAS tape to make up for it (something I should do anyway). I also had to tape up the handlebar to keep the light from rotating down. Sure enough, within 10 minutes on my first ride with the light, it was pointing at the ground. Although the mounting system offers the promise of pretty fine adjustability, it didn't quite deliver for me. It's possible I could have solved the problem with more futzing, but as I had to move it anyway, and the tape was handy, that was a good solution. The other bit of updating is that my MiNewt has developed a new and obnoxious problem. It appears to have a broken wire in its connecting cable, so that unless the wire's held in a certain position, it comes on with 1/100th its normal output, and can't be turned off. If the wire is bent around to complete the normal circuit, it functions correctly. Interestingly, this has roughly coincided with the charging brick randomly not receiving power. Fortunately, NiteRider is good about their support, so I've got an RMA number from them, and will be sending the whole kit and kaboodle in to them for repair. Good thing I've got a good back-up light! Posted at 11:22 permanent link category: /bicycle Wed, 12 Nov 2008I just picked up a new backup bike light. I'm always on the lookout for new, better lights, and this one looked like it'd be a good step up:
It's a Planet Bike Blaze 1w, and it does something I've wanted for a long time: it takes the Superflash concept (bright and not-as-bright flashes, with a characteristic pattern that's very noticeable), and does it in white light, for a front-light. So, that's cool. It's kind of an expensive light at $40, but what price safety? Unfortunately, it suffers from two bits of inanity that I simply no longer understand from manufacturers, particularly manufacturers I expect to be as savvy as Planet Bike. The first defect is plainly obvious when you look at it. It's tremendously front-heavy (it's a heavy light anyway, and most of that weight sits forward of the center-point of that bar clamp). I know that even using gaff tape on my handlebar, and clamping the hell out of this light, it's going to slowly swivel down until it's pointing its excellent flash pattern at my front tire. Well, it doesn't do me any good if no one can see it. This raises the second point. The beam pattern is just terrible, for a "be noticed" light: it's got a massively bright central spot that's fairly narrow, and almost no side-spill. Now, this is a good thing when it's a light I'm using so I can see. I want to see what's in front of me, and it's usually not so important to pick up peripheral vision. I even know why they designed it that way: the optics are easily and cheaply available. However, this light is not strong enough to be a "to see with" light. It simply isn't bright enough to be a primary light, except on the very darkest streets. (Note: I may reverse myself on this particular point, as I haven't actually ridden with it yet.) So its tight focus and mode order don't make sense (it switches on to low, then high, then flash, then off). What I want in a "be seen" light is a 90-150° beam. I want this thing to broadcast light all over the place, ideally in a flat arc that I can aim at cars, perhaps 20° in height, and at least 90° wide. It doesn't need to be tightly focused, it needs to be visible to as many targets as possible. All that said, I still paid my money for it, and I think it'll be an improvement over my current backup light, a CatEye something-or-other 410. The CatEye is even worse than the PB I already have (which uses the same clamping system as this one) for rotating forward around the bar, and the CatEye has a comparatively very weak beam. It also runs for twice as long on less battery, but I'll change batteries more often if it means I get more light and a still-reasonable runtime (PB claims 20 hours max out of this light, which I assume is on the flash mode). For what it's worth, I've been happily using my NiteRider MiNewt as my primary "to see with" light for more than a year now, and love it. If it goes away for any reason, I'll replace it with the same thing, most likely. It has an excellent beam pattern, runs most of a week before I have to charge it, and it's very bright, particularly for its size. So, super-secret note to Planet Bike engineers: quit it! Wide beam! And give me a light that actually balances reasonably on the handlebar, just move the whole thing back on the mount. It can't be that hard. Posted at 15:58 permanent link category: /bicycle Mon, 10 Nov 2008
Applying the scientific method to MY OWN STUPIDITY
So, about a month ago, I installed a fancy schmancy new saddle on my bike. A leather Brooks saddle, in fact. I almost immediately took it off, because I couldn't find an angle that felt good. It was either pressing too much in that sensitive spot, or slid me forward, or pressed to much in the other spot, etc. I put my old saddle back on with a sigh of relief, and proceeded about my life. Several weeks later, I noticed that, all of a sudden, my legs seemed to be chafing. Now, I'd been biking for over two years solid at this point, there was no reason for this to happen. Not all of a sudden. Not even bothering to find two and two to put together, I started changing things. I figured, hey, (and this is the point where you may want to turn off the monitor -- this discussion necessarily involves bits of my anatomy and articles of clothing I wouldn't normally talk about) I'm wearing cotton briefs which have a seam that runs right where I'm getting chafed: the joint where my legs join up with my pelvis, where the seat hits. Cotton == sponge. Maybe that's a bad thing! So I switched to boxers, which I had given up on a year and a half earlier as being entirely too uncontrolled. There is little so uncomfortable as having a testicle repeatedly crushed between leg and seat as you pedal. Trying to remedy this situation is also at least as embarrassing as describing it. The problem still existed, and furthermore, all the fabric seemed to get bunched up right where I was chafing -- before I'd had a small wodge of cotton there; now I had a huge mass. Boxers: FAIL. Next up were boxer briefs. I looked on Amazon (user reviews are surprisingly handy in this situation), and found some inexpensive but (and this is important) cotton boxer briefs. The best of both worlds, right? The anti-flopping properties of briefs, but without the triple-folded seams right where I was chafing! BZZT! Same problem as boxers, except with less testicle-crushing. So, a step in the right direction, but as painful as ever. And by this point, the pain had become excruciating. Not just "Huh, I seem to be chafing a little," but "Holy mother of god, maybe I'll call a taxi!" I had one hope left. I'd read about non-cotton alternatives, and at this point, I was ready to try anything. Anything. So I ran out and got a pair of Under Armour Boxerjocks. Stupid name, good product. Basically, they're boxer briefs intended to be worn tight, and made of the moisture-wicking polyester blend that UA uses so effectively, and which I've long appreciated in a shirt I wear under my racing leathers. I thought, Ah, heaven, these are perfect! I rode to work that day, and it seemed better at first, but then, dammit! They bunched up right where I was chafing, and it hurt like hell. By this point, even walking had started to hurt. So, I gave up. I also wised up, and went to the doctor, having finally realized that this was so abnormal, it must be an infection of some kind. He confirmed, yes, standard-issue jock itch (a fungal infection), apply this cream twice a day, etc. This elicited a huge sigh of relief from me -- it was just an infection! Problem solved. I rode the motorcycle for a couple of weeks, feeling both like I was giving up on my ideals, and like I was getting away with something -- after all, I had a valid medical reason I couldn't ride a bicycle. It was fun to get back on the Ninja and shuttle around without any exertion. There's nothing like riding a bicycle to give one an appreciation of what goes into acceleration and going up hills and things. Today was my first day back on the bicycle. The cream seems to have worked, and I figured I was ready. Wicking underoos: check. Infection under control: check. Rock on! Imagine my disappointment, tonight, as I was riding home, and recognized the now-familiar burning sensation. ARGH! Did my body get its one taste of that damned leather saddle, and is now spoiled!? It was nice how narrow the nose of that thing was, but surely one day of riding on it couldn't have... At approximately this point in my reasoning, as I rode along, I gave myself a virtual dopeslap. I pulled over to the side of the road, leaned the bike up against a fence, and pulled out my little toolkit. I adjusted one bolt in, and one bolt out, lowering the nose of the saddle about 5°. The rest of the ride back home was, well, not exactly burning-free, but was clearly no longer generating that awful burning feeling. Hey, cause? Meet effect. Effect, cause. You guys should get together more often. IN MY BRAIN. (Hopefully the ride in tomorrow will be a trifle more comfortable.) Posted at 23:31 permanent link category: /bicycle Sun, 09 Nov 2008I've found myself enjoying the creation of fictional Facebook status messages, and this one occurred to me tonight, but is too long to fit in the allotted space. Suck it, Facebook, I'm putting it up here: We biked down city streets, you and I, up hills and past cafes with smiling crowds. Into the park we rode, and up the green hill, tumbling off at the top, to lie in the prickly softness of the grass, giggling, and lost in each other's eyes. Posted at 03:19 permanent link category: /misc Wed, 05 Nov 2008It's that month again. Time to write up some novels! If you'd like to follow along on my novelling adventures this year, you can check my progress here: For extra-special challenging crazy, this year, I'm also involved in at least one play (and possibly two, just for extra crazy-points), and building props for a third. And, you know, writing a 50k or more word novel. Free time? I'm sorry, I can't recall what that's like any more. Oh, and there was a historic, mind-altering election yesterday. That wasn't distracting at all. Posted at 22:38 permanent link category: /misc Mon, 03 Nov 2008They're still processing as I write this, but I will momentarily have the entire, ridiculously large gallery of Alaska photos available. To the gallery! Note that if you're seriously on the ball with updates to this journal, the gallery might not be ready yet. There are a lot of pictures, around 1300. Also, for this reason, I didn't upload the 10 MP version of each picture, opting instead for a 1200x800 "high res" version. If you see one you just gotta blow up to poster-size, drop me a line. Posted at 10:48 permanent link category: /misc Fri, 31 Oct 2008With help from Margie Belling and John Cornicello, I have some pictures of my full costume:
I'm sure I'll have more as the day goes on. What good is a cool costume without pictures? Posted at 11:31 permanent link category: /misc Wed, 29 Oct 2008I realized I had some spare time this morning, and set about to take a few pictures of the costume bits I've got together:
It's still not the complete costume, since I'll be getting my rental "frock coat" (by which I mean modern cutaway tux jacket, but that's just fine) on Thursday, but I thought the pictures came out pretty well. Posted at 11:13 permanent link category: /misc Sun, 26 Oct 2008Math/graph nerd humor that made me immediately laugh:
Posted at 22:03 permanent link category: /huh Fri, 24 Oct 2008Rather than go hang out with a bunch of randoms in a bar, or sit alone at home listening to the radio, is anyone having an election night party on the 4th? Have space for one more? Let me know. I'm not sure I can take the suspense, sitting alone in my house, listening to the radio. Posted at 16:45 permanent link category: /misc Wed, 22 Oct 2008The inimitable Jen Moon pointed out that the Weekly's review of Necronimicon is up, and it's pretty positive: In Open Circle Theater's annual tribute to the horror tales of H.P. Lovecraft, a handful of his stories are adapted as the troubling dreams of a contemporary young woman (Kaitie Warren as some sort of office administrative assistant, which might make you look twice at the woman in the next cubicle). The tension in the script, co-credited to John McKenna, Ron Sandahl, Dustin Engstrom, and Maggie Lee, mounts skillfully as the dreams encroach on her real life and reveal a gruesome truth about her ancestry. Once again the shoestring company does a lot with a little, aided hugely by McKenna's sound design, an insinuating, near-constant earscape of drips and mutterings that provides not only creepiness but an almost musical continuity to the tale. GAVIN BORCHERT Posted at 10:05 permanent link category: /theater
Those poor, lonely Russian brides
This disjointed missive arrived at my Lovelab inbox, from poor, lonely natalya26: hi Uh-huh. Pull the other one. Posted at 03:13 permanent link category: /misc Tue, 21 Oct 2008
Apparently stress is good for at least one thing
I seem to have dropped an inch or two off my waist. (And welcome to a new feature/category here on Stuff-mo-tron: "huh." I've been thinking about doing this for months, for short, pithy observations. Let the pith continue.) Posted at 08:54 permanent link category: /huh Mon, 20 Oct 2008Rather than leave you in suspense, I figured I'd provide a quick update to yesterday's entry.
And last, this isn't so much an update to Sunday, but a note for today: I'se tired! I took last week off in order to deal with the 12+ hours of work required at the theater each day, which technically counted as "vacation time." I really need a vacation from my vacation. Posted at 14:12 permanent link category: /misc Sat, 18 Oct 2008I'll have to give you some history for this story to make sense, so bear with me. My last girlfriend, K., and I broke up earlier this year. We both saw it coming a long way off, and no one was surprised when it happened. We're still friends, so that's a fine thing. But that was in maybe March of this year, about 8 months ago. In fact, the relationship had started to disintegrate around September of last year. Nothing terrible, but the key item for the purposes of this tale is that I started feeling kind of single around that point, September last year. A month or so before K. and I broke up, I met J. I wrote about that encounter here at the time. It put me in a very weird state of mind, since I had thought occasionally of J, wondering what ever happened to her, coincidentally also recalling the unreachable-girl crush I'd had at the time (long story short if you don't want to read the whole thing: J. and I worked a crappy pizza-joint job together, I developed a huge crush and never acted on it, then I moved away, and I figured I'd never see her again; imagine my surprise when I sat down next to her and had a delightful conversation at lunch 16 years later and realized at the end who I was talking to). J. was a shock to the system, not in any romantic way, but in the fresh-perspective way. Seen from her perspective, I saw that K. and I really did need to go our separate ways, and that happened not much later. Of course, I couldn't forget the crush I'd had on J., half a lifetime ago. We discussed it (J. is amazingly honest and forthright, which I value tremendously) and decided that we should remain friends despite the attraction we both felt. There are fine reasons for this which aren't germaine to the issue at hand, and I'm very happy to have J. for a friend now. In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way. Still, coming to that decision, and sticking to it, haven't been as easy as I might hope. I'm not telling that story now, but wondering if J. and I should get more deeply involved, or rather the feeling of it, is part of the story currently under discussion. In any case, that all stabilized months and months ago. In the intervening time, I had decided that despite my assertion that I wanted to stay out of relationships for a year (which served me well after the previous big relationship to K.), I was ready to try again. I set up a profile on Lovelab (clicky-clicky to see how I pitch myself as a hot hot hunk o' man), a local dating site. All the kids are doing it, I figured, and what the heck, it was free to sign up. There were a few interesting hits, but nothing that really fired me up. A friend of mine is also single and looking, and we would frequently complain how the people on Lovelab seemed to be... well, there's no single word for it, but they never seemed to live up to their potential. Lots of verbiage about how "I'm just looking for a man who is X, Y and Z. Where are you hiding?" X, Y and Z would describe both my friend and I pretty well, and despite attempts at contact, we'd hear nothing back (through an unspoken gentleman's agreement we've kept our contacts segregated -- it would be terrible to be involved in any kind of situation where we were both "competing" for the same woman). We were and are both weary of the posing and hypocrisy which seems to exist at the site. While randomly trolling through listings one day, several weeks ago, I found one which looked interesting. Her picture called to me in a way that most didn't: she was very attractive, without looking like she was working at it. Her profile text contained some very interesting things, and I sent her a "flirt." This is essentially a free, messageless contact you can make via Lovelab -- you have to have a paid membership to send a message with any content, but flirts are free. My single friend and I were talking about it a few days later, and I started describing this woman I'd seen. As I was talking, I realized that, in fact, I really wanted to meet her. It took me talking aloud to realize it, but realize it I did, and I blew my $4 wad on sending her an actual message with real content. Very gratifyingly, she responded with enthusiasm (unusual on Lovelab, where most people seem wary and reserved in their actual communications), and it wasn't long before we had set a date to have lunch. My usual MO in these situations is to set up a non-committal meeting from which either of us can escape with minimal interaction if it turns out the other is a cretin in real life, but which can last longer if there's call for it. We set the lunch for a Friday a few weeks ago. She cancelled at the last minute, due to a terrible start to the day, involving "my refrigerator, a lot of water, and a parking ticket." Understanding bad days perfectly, we re-set the date for the following Monday, and life proceeded. Of course, for me, life proceeded to go from merely full and lacking free time, to full, lacking free time, and incredibly stressful. The Lovecraft show tech weekend was that weekend, the day after this woman (who I shall call I., just to maintain the confusing pseudo-anonymity of initials) and I had originally been scheduled to meet. Only, that tech weekend, which should normally be a weekend full of tech folks such as myself running around stressed, was about three days behind schedule. Instead of running around stressed because those lights weren't focused right, I was running around stressed because those lights weren't even up in the air, and they had no power cables to run them. I was literally building and stringing power cables, hanging lights and connecting speakers, in a space with no seats, no curtains, and public areas that looked like disaster areas, days and days after that should have all been done. A three-day slip in the schedule is pretty toweringly ominous when the deadline is five days away. The problem is that Open Circle Theater, the company which is producing the Lovecraft show, only secured their new space a short time ago. Instead of building a show, we were building a theater and show at the same time. This is far from the normal course of events, and long story short, it put the schedule way back from where it should have been. We were originally scheduled to open on the 10th of October, but had to push opening back a week, and even so just squeaked under the wire, ignoring all the flapping appendages that weren't quite ready. So, when I. emailed to say that maybe Monday wouldn't work (this was the Monday after tech weekend, and also the day it became apparent that I'd have to take the entire week off work in order to work at the theater if we wanted to open at all), it was pretty easy to be cool about it. "That's ok," I wrote back, "this week is crazy for me, so maybe we could meet next week -- you seem interesting, and I don't want to lose track of you." It sounded like her life was crazy too, so it would work out all around. One of the "benefits" of being as incredibly stressed-out as I was last week is that it stopped any "Aw jeez, I'm so very single," thoughts (which I've been having a lot lately) in their tracks. I didn't have time for that crap. I had a show/theater to build. I was spending 12-14 hours in the theater each day, arriving around 1, and staying until 1, 2, or 3 in the morning. I'll spare you the gruesome details, but this week has left me feeling like I haven't particularly slept, and questioning whether I ever want to do theater again (I do, this was a singular and extraordinary situation -- I'm unlikely to experience its like again). When I'd roll back to my house at 3-4 in the morning (and another 15 miles on the bike's odometer), I'd grimace to myself with a 50/50 mixture of pleasure and angst that at least I wasn't leaving someone waiting up for me. That would last for a second or so, then I'd fall in bed and wake up around 9:30 to do it all over again. The show finally opened last night, after a nightmare-like stretch of time this last week. I spent most of yesterday assembling and installing seats in the theater, while around me swirled a slowly gathering flock of people, doing the thousand and one things which needed to be done before the show could open: cleaning, preparing the bar (which looked like a construction zone around 3 in the afternoon). If you'd asked me when I arrived yesterday, around 12:30, I would have told you there was only a 50% chance we'd actually have the theater ready enough to open that night. As it worked out, we didn't accomplish some important but ignorable tasks, and the show opened. We had exactly one full rehearsal under our belts (normally, the last week would have been dress rehearsals each night -- instead, we were doing all the tech we should have done this weekend). Last night, we had full costumes for the first time. Last night (opening night, keep in mind) was the first time all the cues actually ran when they were supposed to (or within a few seconds of when they were supposed to, anyway). After the incredible stress of building a theater, actually running the show was pathetically easy -- normally, running a show would have me full of butterflies and jumpy about every moment from the actors' call time onward. Instead, I passed through panic, through stress, and came out to the calm place on the other side. Once the seats were all installed (my sworn task for the day, and one I would have said at 4 pm wasn't going to be finished in time), I had reached the state of imperturbability normally reserved for Zen masters. I was soaked through with sweat and chaos raged around me, but I could have tripped face-first into the padh thai I was eating with no more reaction than reaching for a napkin. I've had two beacons of hope and/or pleasure buoying me up this week. One was that the day before I. and I were supposed to meet initially, J. and I had lunch. It was curious timing, but that's how it worked out. I hadn't seen J. in months due to conflicting schedules, and was pretty solidly missing her. She is, in a way, my touchstone that yes, there are still attractive women out there, and yes, they might even want to spend time with me. So meeting her again for lunch (at Blue C Sushi, where we initially met back in February) was a very good thing, and put me in a very good mood. As usual, J. was like a shot in the arm, and all the lingering self-doubt which had been slowly gathering in me was dispelled. The other beacon of hope was that I was looking forward to an email from I., with a new date when we could have lunch and meet. Based on what I'd been able to learn about her so far, I. seemed like a person I'd really connect with, and I had no problem imagining that here was a potential relationship. It was exciting, and against my better judgement, I found myself more and more hopeful that we'd sit down for lunch and instantly the sparks would fly. I know better than that, but my treacherous brain was ignoring the unpopular, doom-saying-nerd part of itself. All I was waiting for was a promised email with the date we could meet. I said to myself that I shouldn't pin any hopes on it, but I did. It's so easy to say the correct words, but forcing your heart onto the right path is nigh unto impossible. That email arrived today. I'll paraphrase (with the hope that I., who certainly knows about this journal and will probably read this entry sooner or later, won't be offended): Hey, so the reason I blew you off this last week is that I met someone else. Sparks flew, and I'm not single any more. Sorry. You still seem interesting, though. Still want to meet for lunch? I hit the reply button, and sat there with one very polite "Yeah, but I'm disappointed" sentence written, for about 5 minutes, with a sinking feeling washing over me. Finally I cancelled that email, walked back to my bed, and lay down, the frail wisps of hope that I'd built up settling to the ground as I lay there, David Sedaris tinnily describing some likely-amusing anecdote from his childhood over the radio I hadn't had the energy to turn off. Which leads me to here and now. I sit in front of my computer, having recounted the past. Now, the only thing I can offer is analysis of the potential future, which I'm not sure I'm up for. The Cure plays on a shuffled loop through my headphones, matching my mood to a T. Do I want to have lunch with I. and meet her in person? Absolutely. Am I disappointed? Absolutely. Will that color our interaction? I don't know. I don't want it to, but it probably will, although knowing me, it'll be subtle and something that only I will notice. Regardless of whether it can develop into a deeper relationship, I. seems like a very interesting, attractive person, and one who I'd like to know and count as a friend. I think perhaps the best bet is to reply, say, "Yes, let's have lunch," and include a link to this journal entry. I can't be this descriptive in an email, it's too much, but I need her to understand that when I say, "Yes, but I'm disappointed," I'm not disappointed in her, but rather in the situation, the timing, and myself. I think that in the end, on top of every thing else that's been happening, it's difficult to hear, "Hey, you seem like a cool guy and all, but let's just be friends, ok?" before I even get the chance to meet someone. At least I'm not too worried that, in this case, "Let's just be friends" might be code for "I never want to see you again." So, I., when's good for you? Drop me a line. Posted at 13:41 permanent link category: /misc Mon, 13 Oct 2008Pieces for my Halloween costume this year are slowly trickling in. Today, my new glasses arrived:
Posted at 15:04 permanent link category: /misc Categories: all aviation gadgets misc motorcycle theater Written by Ian Johnston. Software is Blosxom. Questions? Please mail me at reaper at obairlann dot net. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
